


Elucidation

by novahdfilms



Category: The Creatures (Youtube RPF), cowchop
Genre: M/M, NovaHD - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-11 15:24:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7058059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novahdfilms/pseuds/novahdfilms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elucidation (n): an explanation that makes something clear; clarification.</p><p>That's all poor Aleksandr wanted. He is having strange, romantic dreams about his best friend, James. For some reason, they all started after a rough breakup. Why was he having these fantasies, especially about his best friend, of all people? (Took a random idea from a plot generator, aka: something precious is lost, a story about opportunity. Your character has to take risky chances in order to succeed.) This was also posted on Wattpad, just wanted the story to get a little more audience and recognition :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this was originally posted on Wattpad under the same title. I wanted to put this story out there a little more, and also wanted to see if people were still in this fandom lol. The -A and -J will signal the change in point of view for Aleks and James. Enjoy!

\- A.

The beach was illuminated by the moon, the sand becoming a pale tan colour. His fingers entwined with mine, we slowly walked down the shore together. Waves crashed softly at our feet, never protruding above the ankle. The beach was rid of people, us being the only ones in the wide space. Of course there was no one here, it would ruin the moment. We walked a bit farther, enjoying the view. It was dark, but there was a small glow that gave us the opportunity to see where we were going, at least. Both of us exchanged small words to each other, never really engaging in a full conversation. James looked at me with deep affection, smiling the first genuine smile in a pretty long time. After a while, we slowed our pace. James leaned over just a bit closer towards my ear, stopping us both.

"I love you, so much, okay? Forever and always, you and I." he muttered. We both leaned closer to achieve the goal of connecting our lips together. Just as this was about to happen, I jumped from my bed.

Sweat was beading down my forehead more than I thought. I struggled to catch my breath, rubbing my eyes. What the fuck just happened? That's the third dream I've had about him all week. Why him, of all people? I wasn't gay, I knew that. I have been with girls all of my life. Speaking of girls, I just went through a pretty rough breakup with Dominika. Was I dreaming these confusing, romantic dreams because of this? Was I just lonely? Or do I really have feelings for him...?

These feelings were becoming too complex to process. I jumped out of my bed, pulling the covers off of my overheated body. I strode across my room, my feet touching the plush white carpet. What time was it anyway? I pulled open the door, treading down the stairs and into the medium sized kitchen. The microwave clock read 3:44am. Why was I awoken this late? (Or early, it could work both ways). I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, slightly leaning down to retrieve it. Out of the corner of my eye, I swear I could see the outline of a person, but I brushed it off. I stood in the kitchen just a few minutes longer before making my way back upstairs to my room. I tried to be quiet, I didn't want to disturb Ein or James. On the way back up the staircase, I passed into the room with my 'mural.' That damn poster, he got it just to piss me off, I swear. I chuckled to myself before tiptoeing up the carpeted platform. Just as I was about to turn the doorknob to my bedroom, someone poked my shoulder.

"What are you doing up so late, Aleksandr?" James whispered into my ear, the smirk very obvious in his tone. I jutted out my jaw, turning back to face him. I just shrugged, I didn't say a word. Why did he care anyway? What was he doing up this late? I had a plan, just to escape his question. Swiftly, I pushed him back farther into the hallway and jumped into my room. That would probably piss him off. Oh well, he scared the shit out of me. I want to try and avoid him as much as possible, before I can confront him about these odd dreams. Maybe sleep will get my mind off of it, and I won't have that dream again. I carefully pulled the blankets over me, cuddling into my pillow before drifting off to sleep.

It was around nine when I woke up. Fuck, I didn't expect to sleep in so late. I'm sure James already left, so I would have to drive myself to the office this time. Thankfully, I had no more dreams about him. My mind is still fuzzy about why I am having these dreams about him. Why were they so all of a sudden? He's just my bestfriend, nothing more. Even if I was bisexual, there's no way in hell he would like me back. Besides, he likes a girl named Kylie anyway. As I was considering these pros and cons, I picked out my clothes for today and got ready to shower. Before I went into my personal bathroom, I stepped outside of my door. Silence. I guess James really did leave then. Not even Ein was making a sound. I quietly slid back into the room, heading to the shower.

The lukewarm water emerged from the showerhead, pouring down onto the tile flooring. I immediately undressed, stepping into the shower and closing the curtain. Beads of water grasped onto my body and hair, making me feel better. I washed my hair and skin rapidly, just standing under the water for a few minutes. After around ten minutes, I turned the shower off and stepped out. It took me a long amount of time to put my clothes on, longer than usual. After much procrastination, I decided that it was time to go to the office. I already knew that James would confront me about last night. It's going to be hard to avoid him about it. Should I tell him about the dreams I've been having? Not now, our friendship was going so well. At the same time, it would be easier considering we would be separating from each other soon. Still, what if he thinks of me differently because of my sexuality confusion?

These questions throughout the morning were giving me a headache. On the way to the office, I decided to pick up some coffee for myself. The guys were probably frustrated with me for being so late, but we weren't doing much. We had a lot of content lately, which meant it wasn't always necessary to record. At the door was Jordan, greeting me with a warm smile. Everyone was working on stuff, so I headed right to my own personal space. I had some lights and my computer in there already, giving me some opportunity to record. Before I could even open Fraps, there was a slight knock on my door. Speaking of the devil, James Wilson himself appeared.

"Hey, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to come help me paint my office? Everyone else is busy, and I was looking to spend some time with you." he told me.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach at his comment. "Sure, let's go." I said. We exited my office and strolled over to his. The walls were almost all white, except for a few spots. A large bucket sat on the ground, a plastic sheet in the corner. James and I both went to grab a paintbrush, touching the same one at the same time. I pulled back, reaching for the other one. All he did was chuckle, but I could see a slight red tint to his face. Was he blushing? How cute.

We got to work immediately, taking small breaks in between. Two hours later, we had the rest of the first wall done and two more as well. As I set my paintbrush down, he came up and pat me on the back. "Thanks for your help," he said. "I really appreciate it. It would've taken me forever to do it alone." It was fun, I enjoyed it.

"Hey James... can I tell you something?" I said softly. He took no time to give me a worried, attentive expression. As soon as I was about to tell him about the past week or so, I froze.

"Ah nothing, it's stupid. Nevermind." I said, looking away. He shook it off, knowing that I didn't want to talk about it right now. I'll just have to tell him another day. What was I supposed to say anyway?

"Hey man, I know we're best friends, but I've been having some dreams about you and I think I'm in love?" No. It doesn't work that way. I'm just going to talk about it when I have it all figured out. I left his office, returning to my own. I sat in my brown office chair, leaning back.

Was I really in love with my best friend, when I'm not really sure I'm gay/bi? What am I supposed to do? I just want an explanation to my emotions.


	2. Chapter 2

\- A (This one may have a bit more dialogue)

I recorded for a bit after, trying to get my mind off of it. Of course, it only helped minorly. I still couldn't stop thinking about it. Does he like me too? What would he say if i did tell him? Maybe I should go tell him, even if he does reject me. I'll have it all planned out in my head before I say something. Not now, but eventually. [a/n: ;))) ] Before I could even think about it, I started to doze into sleep. I caught myself a few times, sinking back into the chair. Well. I might as well, I was more than likely done for today. I closed my eyes, letting my eyelids rest. Slowly but surely, I slipped into deep sleep.

"Aleks! Come on!" he yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth for a louder volume. I quickly followed, grasping his hand and trailing behind him. He led me onto a gravel pathway that went into the park. This setting was familiar, it was Echo Lake. The sun was setting quickly behind the mountains, giving off an orange-red glow. The mountains were traced with every detail, giving a large shadow as a reflection. It was absolutely beautiful, my eyes could never take in such a sight. There was a small stone pavillion resting at the top of the hill, where we were almost moments ago. I lost track of my surroundings and didn't bother to notice James dragging me closer and closer to the lake. I stopped immediately, making him fall back as well. He toppled me, leaving my back digging into the gravel.

"What the fuck was that for!?" he yelled. I just laughed, helping him off of me.

"Well.. you see.. I don't really know how to swim," I said, "And when we got closer to the lake, I kind of panicked. I'm sorry."

"See, you could've just told me that! It's okay, come on, I'll teach you." 

He led me to the lake, taking off our clothes to reveal swim trunks underneath. As we approached the lake, he latched his hands in mine. We climbed over a few rocks before plunging into waist deep water. I panicked at first, but James clung to me the whole time. After a while, I started to get the hang of it. We swam around for what seemed like an eternity before he pulled me close to him, pressing his lips to my forehead. I could feel tiny fish nipping at the bottom of my feet, but I didn't care. I pulled him even closer to me, running out of room to breathe. My vision started to get blurry, but I could sense everything else in the dream. Our lips connected, and before we completely pulled away, I could hear the words,

"Forever and always, you and I."

"Aleks?" 

"Aleks?"

"ALEKS!" 

I practically jumped out of my seat, gasping for air. James stood at my door, giggling. What the hell, did I just have another dream like that? Before I could even ask what he was doing, he turned straight around and went back to his own office. I got up, closing the wooden door and putting the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the front. As soon as I sat down, I pulled out might yellow notepad. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. It seems like the dreams have reoccuring moments in them, so I think I'll write those down.

First, I started with the saying "Forever and always, you and I." Is that supposed to mean something? Second, I wrote down the face that the dreams are every other day, and when the dream day comes, I have them twice each day. Finally, I realized that in my dreams, James and I are walking somewhere. In the last two dreams we have been walking in a memorable place. The moonlit beach and Echo Lake. I've always been fascinated with those two locations. They both have beautiful scenery. Anyway, I left the note sitting on my desk. I checked the time before shutting down my computer for the day. It was already almost nine o'clock. Everyone would be filing out of the office soon. This was one of those days that I really enjoyed my flexible schedule. I didn't have to worry about being late unless we recorded something for the Hub, and I could leave whenever I chose to. James and I normally left around ten, and I knew he would be asking to go home soon. 

Jordan, Seamus, Dan, and Spencer said their goodbyes before heading to the Alamo for a movie night. Now, James and I were the only ones out and about the office. We both decided that we would leave now since we were done for the day. I would just go home with James, keeping my car in the office lot. Both of us followed out and down into the car, the cold wind biting at our faces. As soon as we were about to go home, he forgot something in his office. 

-J 

I stepped out of the car, running upstairs back to the office. I forgot my wallet, I'm glad I didn't go far without it. My door was left open and I frantically looked for it. I didn't want to keep Aleks waiting. It wasn't on my desk, shelf, or anything. Did I leave it in Aleks' office when I went in there? I could of dropped it. After exiting my office I went to Aleksandr's, which was only one or two doors down from mine. When I went to retrieve the leather capsule, I saw a bright yellow paper stuck to the wall of Aleksandr's office. Even with two of his dim orange lights being the only thing illuminating the room, the note stuck out. Being the nosy bitch that I am, I decided to look at it. My fingers clasped the thin paper from the painted wall, holding it up to my face. The words were almost illegible, but a phrase seemed very bold within all the others. "Forever and always, you and I." What was that supposed to mean? There were other notes written, but I didn't understand them. 

I knew I was taking too long in the office, so I decided to ask him about the note later. All the doors were closed and lights were turned off before I left. As I came downstairs, Aleks was coming inside. He started to lecture me, telling me that I was "taking too damn long." We both got into the still running motor vehicle, pulling out and onto the road. Aleksandr was silent almost the whole way home except for some slight humming to a few electronic tunes. He sure was acting awkward around me lately. Maybe it was about that note? I had no idea. I'm sure it wasn't about me. Could it be? 

All of these insane thoughts clouded my brain. Before I knew it, we had arrived to our shared home. Ein could be heard barking all the way from the damn garage. I unlocked the door, heading inside. Aleks followed shortly after, closing and locking the door and plopping down on the couch. I think it had been a long day for the both of us. Maybe him and I could play some games before heading to bed. We both agreed on the plan, going upstairs for a quick second to change into pajamas. 

"You make the popcorn, I pick the game?" he asked.

"Deal."


	3. Chapter 3

-J. 

I stood impatiently by the microwave, waiting for the bag of popcorn to finish cooking. There was another bag to be made, which meant even more time in this tiny kitchen. Trevor and Aron were out, which meant it was only Aleks and I in the house. I set the bowl on the counter, replacing the popped bag with the new one. After the second one was finally done, I lightly salted the contents of the bowl and walked into the living room. 

Aleks stood there proudly, holding an Xbox One controller in front of him. This gave me the idea that it was not a two player game, one of us would just be walking. After I asked what game he had picked, he just took the bowl from my hands and told me to sit down. The menu disappeared, displaying a black screen in front of us. A few seconds had passed before the main menu of Dark Souls III loaded. "Oh this must be a fuckin' joke," I yelled. "Are we really about to play this?" He smiled evilly, gripping his controller with one hand. We made plans to play this for our new channel, but I didn't think he would pick it just for fun. Both of us dug into our popcorn, the bowl being placed in between us. I noticed a light pink tone to his cheeks whenever our hands would accidentally touch. 

We went through character creation for a while, making our character look like a complete idiot. The positive light of this game is that we could laugh at how horrible it was and how we could do the stupidest things possible while playing. Aleks would laugh and take most of his time running around instead of completing the main objective. Time passed pretty quickly, and we hadn't really advanced game wise. However, we were all out of popcorn. I placed the bowl on the other side of me, which encouraged Mishka to jump on the couch and clean it for us. 

-A

I noticed James subtly scoot next to me after our bowl of popcorn was gone. He didn't say anything, his eyes just stayed fixed to the screen. He seemed bored, considering we laughed a little too much at this game. I stood up, tossing the controller into his lap. The disc slowly slid from the console and stopped before it fell out completely. Before I had the opportunity to put in a different game, James took the remote and turned off the television. The room fell to black quickly, giving my eyes the message to adjust. He came up next to me, offering a hand to pick me up. "Do you wanna watch me play some games on my computer? I have some other games that I need to record." he said as I stood next to him. James led me to his room, almost pretending as if I didn't know the layout of the house already. 

He nudged the door open and switched the three lights on. The room was not so neat, but displayed all of his necessities. James' setup was nicer than mine to say in the least. His wires were not as messy and cluttered, as well as his monitors and keyboard in the right place. James pulled up a smaller chair next to his, signaling me to take a seat. He kept one ear uncovered from his headset just in case, opening up all of his recording needs and starting up a game. 

\- 

James didn't record for very long before he decided to play casually. We would take turns playing or cracking occasional jokes about the others' playing style. The dogs would nudge our feet or lay next to us until we disturbed them by our movement. Time passed quicker than the both of us thought, and it was almost two in the morning before we were passing out. I told him that we should probably 'hit the hay,' slightly laughing after the ridiculous statement. He agreed and I slowly walked out of the room. Before I could touch the door frame, he tapped me on the shoulder. "Can you please tell me what you were going to say? It's been killing me." He pulled a crumbled note from his pocket and held it up to show me. My jaw dropped slightly at the familiarity of the note. How did James get this, and when was he in my office? 

"Please? Can you at least tell me if this is relating to me?" he looked at me with wide eyes, coming a bit closer. I was trapped in this situation. My body filled with heat, invisible needles pricking at my skin. Before he could get any closer, I snatched the note from his hand. "Why do you have this? It isn't any of your business." I yelled, raising my voice at him. He cowered back in fear, something he doesn't do often. This broke my trap, which gave me an easy way into my own room. I slammed and locked the door, leaning against it with the paper still in my hand. Why did I just ruin the perfect opportunity to tell him?

-J. 

My phone buzzed on my desk as I stood next to the door of my bedroom. Why did he get so angry and defensive? I didn't want to assume that it was a hint relating to me, but Aleks was making it a little too obvious. I figured he should have the night to cool off before asking him one more time in the more appropriate hours of the morning. As I returned to my desk my phone would not stop vibrating, meaning it was either a bunch of notifications or someone was calling me. Why the hell is someone spamming me at two in the morning? I picked up my phone and saw it was a plethora of messages from Kylie. We had been talking lately, but I didn't see it forming into anything serious. I decided to ignore the messages and turn off my computer. 

I plunged into my small bed and Ein followed. She had curled up next to me after moving a small portion of the comforter out of her way. There was no more light left in the room, and subtle noises were the only thing accompanying me at the moment. I tossed and turned, thoughts constantly running through my head. Should I even bother with Aleks? Why was this making me so upset? I've always cared for him, but never this much. I was still a little shocked that he had feelings for me. Was Aleks even bisexual? After Sly left, he was the most heartbroken out of all of us. This made me think they had something going, just never official. What was going on?

These thoughts filled my brain, each one leading back to another. Soon enough the sun was barely peeking through my blinds. How the hell did I stay up for this long? I crawled from my bed and could feel all of my energy drain from me. There was no way I could do anything today without some sort of energy drink. The clock read 5:45, also known as too fucking early. I figured we would keep a few drinks in the fridge, one of them being a Monster or anything along those lines. I meandered through the halls, making my best attempt not to wake Aleks up. Ein's tiny nails clicked against the faux wood floors while following me to the kitchen. My hand tugged on the refrigerator handle slightly before it revealed all of it's contents. 

All of the food crowded the shelves and pushed other items close to the edge. I examined every shelf and moved so much shit out of the way before finally finding what I was looking for. A medium sized can of Monster was laying down in the all the way back. I grabbed it and popped it open as the sound of carbonation filled my ears. The oven clock read 5:50, still nothing to do this early. I took a seat at the dining room table and opened my laptop. Social media is the last resort, I guess.

My Twitter notifications were a bunch of shit, leading me to Tumblr. There was a bunch of awesome fan art, some of it passed on to my personal page. Ein sat at my feet as I sipped my drink and scrolled. Was this what all of my fans did? This is pretty relaxing, I must say. Trevor had texted me overnight, saying that him and Aron would still be out for a bit. Footsteps came into a reasonable hearing distance from down the hall. Aleks stumbled in the kitchen whilst running his hand through his disheveled hair. "Good morning there, sunshine. How'd ya sleep?" I said with a smirk. He simply glanced at me and groaned, grabbing a water from the fridge. After taking a few sips, he tossed it on the table across from me. Ein strutted towards him, jumping on his lap. Aleks focused his attention towards her while he carefully stroked the top of her head. This went on for a minute or so, my eyes fixed to him. I examined his tattoos before noticing he snapped his head back up to me. 

"James, I think we need to talk."

A/N: A predictable and stereotypical ending, to say in the least.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I feel like this chapter is just full of cliches upon cliches, hopefully that doesn't make it bad.

-J.

We quietly sat at our table, the only noises being the slight humming of the refrigerator and the dogs walking across tile. Aleksandr rested his chin on the top of his water bottle, waiting for a reaction. I waved a hand and signaled for him to begin talking. What was this all about? 

"I'm afraid that this will affect our friendship and working relationship. We just started CowChop, and I really don't want anything to be awkward, you know?" he began, maintaining eye contact. I wanted to hear what he said first before speaking. "I really care about your opinion, even if I'm an asshole about it sometimes." Aleks leaned a little closer over the table, finally looking away. As much as I just adored Aleks talking, I was ready for him to get to the point. Both Mishka and Ein nudged at the sliding glass door and lightly scratched at the bottom. I swiftly opened the door for them, hoping it wasn't going to make Aleks assume I wasn't listening. "James, I think I'm in lo-"

"We're home!" Aron bursted through the door with Trevor following behind. They carried a couple bags of recording equipment on one arm, setting everything down before walking into the kitchen. Ein sprinted as fast as her tiny legs could towards the two as if they've been gone for years. I was a little disappointed, I didn't expect them to be back so early and Aleks had me interested for once. He looked upset, taking small sips from his water now. Since when did I care so much about how upset he was? Normally I would simply apologize for any time I hurt him, but this time I felt like he deserved to finish what he was saying. Trevor started to pull breakfast food from the fridge, hinting at the fact that he was going to cook. About time, I've been getting a bit tired of eating out daily. 

Aleks was on his phone now, scrolling up every few seconds. I stood from my chair and made way for the stairs. On my way past him I lightly tapped his shoulder with hope he would join me upstairs. Aron took my place at the table and waited for Aleks to notice. Ein nipped at my ankles as she followed me up the first few steps. I kept my wooden door propped open a little in case Aleks decided to join me. I tried to think of times we would actually be alone so he could finish what he was saying. A few minutes passed and he hadn't showed up, so I figured I would just get dressed and ready for the day. There were shirts thrown around the room, but a fresh one from the closet was nice too. My Fallout 4 shirt was the first option considering it was protruding out of the normal line of shirts. We would be at home all day, which meant jeans weren't necessary. I stripped out of my clothes, also grabbing a pair of plaid boxers (typical). As soon as I put my boxers on, I heard the door move a little and someone walk inside.

"Hey, sorry I took so long. Aron would not stop ta-, oh," he explained, stopping short after looking up at me half naked. 

-A.

I should've known better before barging into James' room, finding him half naked and changing into new clothes. He simply looked at me whilst rushing to pull his black basketball shorts to his waist and a shirt over his head. I won't complain, he was a pretty sight to see. I scratched the back of my neck and looked down at my feet, flooding with embarrassment. James didn't seem to mind, he would normally get angry if someone walked in on him. He passed me to turn the lights on and ushered me to sit on his bed. "Why are you so red? Don't worry about it. Not like you saw my bare ass or anything, no biggie." The statement made me even more red, the back of my mind wishing I could've walked in a little earlier. James glanced at me, waiting for a response. I cracked my knuckles out of anxiety before looking directly at him. "Do you wanna go somewhere, or something? I kinda wanted to talk without getting interrupted." I suggested. I've never been so serious about talking to him, I really thought he deserved to know how I feel. Sensitive little Aleks? Never seen this side before. 

He turned from his computer and looked at me, going into thought about all of the possibilities. We discussed a few places we could go, and when we weren't busy. James and I concluded that Saturday was our best chance, and that we could take the dogs to the park or something. Oh man, three more days until I get to tell my best pal how much I love him. Trevor called us for breakfast after we were done talking, and I quickly ate so I could get to recording. My nerves kept getting to me. Was I going to be able to tell him? What was he going to say? I tried to record a few different games to get my mind off of it. CS: GO was always the go to, along with a couple short and stupid games to give a little variety. The house was somewhat quiet for once, considering Aron and Trevor are more than likely editing videos. 

James' screams over rage games accompanied the background noise in the house. Hours upon hours passed before it was time for all of us to go to bed. I shut down my computer for the night and made sure Mishka had food and water. She didn't care much for either at this hour, most of her food was devoured in the morning so she had plenty of energy for the day. I took my khakis off and kept my shirt and boxers on for bed. My comforter provided warmth for my uncovered legs as I laid into bed. It wasn't long before my eyes closed and I drifted into sleep. 

* This is sorta nsfw, but not really. The sound of rain was lightly heard in the background. Thunder rumbled on occasion, scaring either dog whenever it got too loud. James accompanied me on our bed, the TV displaying one of his favorite games. Days like these were my favorite, spending time inside when the weather kept us from doing other activities. His legs were pointing outward in a V-shape. I sat between them and laid my head back on his chest with eyes fixed on his game. Everyone knew James was a sore loser, especially in large multiplayer games. I tried to comfort him and calm him down when he was killed or didn't always get his way. 

Eventually James quit from the game and tossed the controller aside. I took his hand in mine and told him how the game was stupid anyway. He chuckled and played with my hair, looking out the window at the storm passing over us. The setting changed and he was hovering over me, his chest bare and curls messy. Kisses were planted down my neck and I admired how gentle he was. Passion was surrounding the both of us as he whispered to me while traveling down my body. "Oh, Aleks," he mumbled when reaching the bottom of my stomach and the top of my pelvis. 

I jolted awake once again, considering I could never peacefully wake up from a dream about James. The problem in my lower half begged for satisfaction as I tried to mentally summarize what just happened. I yearned for these dreams to come true. I needed James, and I needed him to love me the way I love him.


	5. Chapter 5

-J.

The last three days slowly passed on, most of the time spent doing absolutely nothing. We all got some videos for CowChop done, as well as playing a few games as a group. Aleks was trying his hardest not to act awkward around me, although he was doing a pretty shit job of it. He didn't spend most of the day with me like he did last week, just a small conversation here and there. I guess he was saving it for today, when we were going to the park. I made a list of all the things he could have the possibility of hiding from me. Did he not want to be friends anymore? Was he going to kill me in my sleep? Did he sabotage some of my equipment, and that's why I had to buy new things? While they were a bit irrational, they were all possible. 

I woke up earlier than usual so I had a little more time to get ready. If Aleks was going to murder me at the dog park, I might as well look nice. After my shower I picked out semi nice clothes that were also appropriate for the weather. I figured we wouldn't be at the dog park for long other than to have a conversation or mess around with the dogs. After I was done getting ready I decided to sit at my desk for a bit until Aleks woke up. A few messages from Kylie were on my screen, but I disregarded them. She was more involved in this than I was, I lost a lot of feeling after the first month of talking to her. She couldn't take hints, I guess. Reddit and Tumblr was where my time was wasted for another hour before hearing Aleks tap at the door. He looked at me with a tiny smirk and a very nervous look etched on his face. "Are you ready?" I asked before watching his head slowly nod. I found Ein at the front door before hooking her leash onto her collar and guiding her to the car. Aleks didn't take Mishka, worried that she would be too energetic for the car ride. He wasn't wrong, she never knew how to relax. 

The park wasn't too far from our house but I still couldn't properly find my way to it. Aleks reassured me that he would drive so we wouldn't get lost. His hand gripped the wheel tightly, knuckles turning a pale white as he turned down the roads. I started to worry that he was okay, or too nervous to be talking to me. Ein placed herself by the window in the backseat so she could enjoy the view before having an entire park to run in. The car ride was silent besides a little music lightly playing. I lightly tapped Aleks' knee and rubbed my thumb against his jeans to relax him. He tensed a little before slightly relaxing into his seat. We found a parking space in a nearby lot before getting Ein from the back. She ran excitedly to the front of the gates, awaiting the ability to free roam. 

There weren't many people here, besides two women and their small dogs. I expected more people here, but since it was during the week I'm sure most people had to go to their real jobs. Aleks opened the black gate for Ein and unclasped her leash so she could run into the grass. Immediately she darted to the middle, plopping down and rolling into the turf. I laughed and handed Aleks her leash. I knew we had to keep an eye on her, but she wasn't too crazy to fight the other dogs or find some extreme way to escape the park. We sat on a metal bench close to the entrance, where we could see the dog most of the time. I gazed at the man next to me and followed his movements as he fumbled with the leash. He was starting to make me as nervous as he was, really. "Okay," I began, "Just talk. Don't let anything interrupt you and I won't say a single word until you're done. I'm not going to be mad, even if this is about the fact that you wanna kill me in my sleep. I can tell this is beating you up pretty bad so get it off your chest." He looked up at me as I placed my hand back on his knee. 

"I'm going to start this off by saying hello, I'm bisexual. And before you ask, I've known since... tenth grade I think. Never dated a guy in fear of rejection and hate from friends. Well here I am, hopelessly falling for my best fucking friend. I've been dreaming of you, James. And not in the creepy way, the lovey one. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does they're vivid dreams. Something out of a movie, for fucks sake. I don't understand why or how, but I've had feelings for you since March I think. After the breakup. Well it's June now and it's killing me that I haven't told you. It's okay if you hate me or want me to move out, I'm sure someone would be happy to do CowChop with you. I'm sorry if this ruins everything but James I have a lot of feelings for you, more than friends."

Well, this definitely wasn't on my topic list. 

-A. 

I searched his face for any hope of reciprocation. Shock settled in his eyes and he kept his hand still on my knee. Did he hate me now? A few seconds passed and he still hadn't said anything. My heart sank, and I rose from the bench, placing the leash in the empty spot. "I'm sorry.. I'll go." I can't believe I just ruined everything. My feet shuffled to the entrance, thoughts flooding my brain. Before I could open it to leave, a hand grasped my shoulder and pulled me back. James looked me directly in the eye before leading me back to the bench. 

"So let me get this straight. You have feelings for me, but haven't told me for a few months because you were scared?" he stated, waiting for an answer. I quickly nodded and felt the fear rush through my body. "Well Aleksandr, I think you deserve to know that I am not straight either, and you aren't ruining anything. Sure, I may not have thought about feelings for you right away but I'm sure it would just take time. Don't worry, you're still my best friend, and one of the only people that's seen me be such a softy in moments like these. Now, I think we should go home and you can prepare yourself for a few hours later tonight, because I think a date is necessary." He maintained eye contact for most of his lecture, only looking away to check on Ein. There's no way this is happening, is it? James wants to take me on a date. 

As we gathered Ein into the car, I continuously pinched myself to reassure myself that this is reality. This must be a dream, and it's just my brain fucking with me one more time. I told myself that I would wake up soon, just to be disappointed. James called shotgun and opened my door for me, watching as I started the car up. He turned the music up a little louder and we jammed out on the seven minute ride home. It was only eleven or so, meaning I had a good amount of time to prepare myself for this date. 

Once we arrived to the house, I helped him get back inside with the dog before heading up to my bedroom. My first thought was to get some clothes together to look more 'well-groomed' than usual. After rummaging through the wide closet, I came across light khakis and a dark maroon button up shirt. I figured this wasn't too fancy, but fancy enough to not look like some sort of bum. I hung the clothes on hangers and placed them on the back of my door so I knew exactly where they were when the time comes. My nerves were getting the best of me and encouraged me to get everything ready right this instant so I wasn't late. I sat on the edge of my bed and thought about what James is going to wear. Should I just dress casual? Was I sure this was really happening? Is it even a date? Adrenaline pumped and my heart fluttered as I thought about our date. I've been in love with him for so long, and this is actually, finally happening. 

-J. 

I don't think I've ever been this nervous in my life. Ever since I identified as bi, I never had the courage to ask a guy out on a date before. It was always others chasing after me, and oh how the tables have turned. My current situation was trying to find clothes to wear. I wanted to look nice for Aleks, knowing this date could make or break the possibility of a relationship. The first date was always the hardest for me, always analyzing whether or not the girl or guy was even worth talking to. Was Aleks finally the one? If my nerves are this bad right now, I could only imagine how his are.

I fluffed my curls in the mirror and tried on a few different outfits. Ever since I lost some weight, some of my dress shirts don't look as flattering on my body. After a couple minutes of buttoning and unbuttoning so many god damn shirts, I made up my mind. A dark gray button up and a nice pair of jeans. These two items were laid on the end of my bed before I changed into more casual clothes. For the time being, I would dress comfortably and try to relax before the extreme adrenaline rush in a few hours. 

Kylie blew up my Skype, asking me where I was and why I wasn't talking to her. This was the perfect moment to tell her I wasn't interested. To summarize for her, I wrote a message explaining that I have a date tonight and that I wasn't very into her anymore. To save myself from the spam that was about to commence, I blocked her from messaging me. I uploaded a couple of videos to my channel so my fans have something to watch while I'm busy tonight. 

After hours of sheer boredom, it was finally time to take Aleks to dinner. I found a few good places around us, booking a reservation at a steakhouse. I changed out of my clothes before triple checking myself in the mirror. Ein stood on my bed and watched as I paced around the room. Was now a good time to take him, what if he's still getting ready? Damn, I am such a softy for this boy already. I grew impatient with myself and went across the hall to his door. My knuckles tapped against the door before it opened to reveal the beautiful man in front of me. God, he looked so good. His outfit was similar to mine, only different colors. He definitely pulled it off better.

"Are you ready to go, handsome?"


End file.
